Positive discipline maintains children's self-esteem
To be a good parent for your child you must remember that you have to punish the behavior, not the child. Children are very sensitive to the parents words, so learn to control your language and messages.
Remember to praise your child not only for a success but also for the effort invested. However painful it might seem initially, be truthful.
It is recommended to say to your child "I love you very much, but I dont like what you just did. You are not a bad boy, but what you just did is not acceptable". For example, if your child doesnt make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, "Well, next time you will work harder and you have to make it". Instead, say something like, "Well you didnt make the team but I am proud of the effort you put into it". Reward effort and completion instead of outcomes.
Children should learn the consequences of misbehaving right away, but a punishment has to be announced only in a calm, composed, and unemotional manner. While sometimes you cannot avoid scolding your child, positive reinforcement is a far more effective feedback mechanism than punishment. Tell the child how much you appreciate his/her help or the nice way that he/she is playing with other children.
As parents, we must help our children understand the relationships between actions and consequences. When doing it, we should be consistent and unemotional.
In any attempts at improving your parenting skills try to start from the three F's of Effective Disciplining. Discipline should be:
Firm: Consequences should be clearly stated and
then adhered to when the inappropriate behavior occurs.